Friday, March 19, 2010

Bad Magic Food

And now of course you want to know what happened to Edmund. He had eaten his share of the dinner, but he hadn’t really enjoyed it because he was thinking all the time about Turkish Delight-and there’s nothing that spoils the taste of good ordinary food half so much as the memory of bad magic food.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe-C.S. Lewis (genius)

When my sisters were visiting us last summer one of them (who shall remain nameless) left a huge jar of Skippy peanut butter in my pantry.

Now you have to understand that most of my children have never eaten this abomination. Is that too strong a word? Just wait.

When we only had our first two kids we decided to cut out sugar. That meant no more Skippy or Jiff or Peter Pan peanut butter or whatever. From that day on we only have had “natural” peanut butter-the kind that is just peanuts with maybe some added salt. The kind you have to stir because the oil separates. My kids have to work for their peanut butter pleasure and they were content in the wholesome stick-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth goodness.

Then the Skippy showed up. Son #3 was instantly in love. Our bodies crave sugar of course. He couldn’t help it. To me, processed food is pornographic. It appeals to our base natures. It is a falsehood. It warps that which is true and good. And it is addictive.

I did the only thing I could do of course. I instantly cast the stuff into the garbage- much to the dismay of my son.

It may shock some people to know that I would throw away perfectly good food like that. But to me it isn’t perfectly good food. It’s a foodlike substance and it’s crap.

No offence.

Did you know that I was that radical?

Well, now you do.

5 Comments

  1. Heathermommy
    Posted March 19, 2010 at 6:58 am

    Lately lots of people have been giving us candy. The girls and I just eat it but Rick says we should throw it out. That almost seems blasephemous. There is almost nothing I like better than free food.

    But it reality I know we should throw it out. It isn’t “real food” but man, it tastes good!!

  2. Rachel
    Posted March 19, 2010 at 8:05 am

    No comment.

  3. heathermommy
    Posted March 19, 2010 at 10:11 am

    Really natural peanut butter tastes delicious. Just make sure you get the salted kind. It tastes way better.

  4. Posted March 19, 2010 at 11:14 am

    I cannot bring myself to eat natural peanut butter. And yes, I have tried it. I simply don’t like it. I’d rather not eat peanut butter at all. Fortunately, Jen still likes me even though I eat bad magic peanut butter.

    Yesterday was our annual movie day here at work. There was a ton of free candy for us to take and eat during the movie. I have a lot of it leftover, just sitting in my desk in a white paper bag. So far, I have managed to convince myself that it’s not appropriate to eat Reese’s Pieces for breakfast and have refrained from gorging myself. But we all know it’s coming, right?

    Once again, I am saying, “I’ll do better tomorrow . . . “

  5. Amy
    Posted March 21, 2010 at 1:09 am

    I am so sorry to have caused you so much trauma by leaving my PPB at your house. I hope this SECOND blog posting about it will ease your pain and help you move on with your life, a life free of PPB. I, on the other hand, will continue to eat PPB in moderation, especially in the form of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. For while I might live longer if I never eat PPB again, I am not convinced a life free of PPB is worth living. (Note: I am in no way addicted to PPB. I can quit anytime I want.)


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